Hello My Friends!
Lessons. They’re hiding everywhere in plain sight. I can’t tell if they have good disguises or if I have really bad vision and it usually takes someone like a child to plainly state what I’ve been missing.
I’ve been struggling about how to write what I have experienced over the last six weeks (since the hedge trimmer accident) and the insights I’ve received. I find myself writing, deleting, rewriting and questioning how my words will be perceived when people read them. However, I have found similar to life, the best things seem to emerge when I stop worrying about what other people think, be myself and just let it flow. These are some of the recent lessons I’ve learned:
Let people help you. One of the first lessons that presented itself to me was my reluctance to let my husband help change my bandages. I love this man with all of my heart and yet there is something inside of me that habitually resists his help. He literally had to ask me, “Why won’t you let me help you?!” before I realized once and for all; accepting his help when I need him most does not make me weak.
Be prepared to have your wishes granted. Accepting that I had asked for my injury in a very, very open-ended prayer sort of way, led me to a place where my complete “surrender” was tested. At one point I could no longer keep my swell of emotions contained and I broke down sobbing. “Why? Why this? I don’t understand? I’m so frustrated! I wanted to be of service! How is helping anyone or anything?!” My sobs turned into deep breaths until I heard myself utter the words “Thank You.” The moment I said “Thank You” I had peace. So I kept saying it over and over and over again until I had completely embraced the experience I may never understand. That moment transformed me. All of a sudden it didn’t matter “why?” and my suffering was replaced with a curiosity as to how this all works into the big picture. One thing I do understand; humbling myself to lovingly accept ALL situations in life is the ultimate freedom.
“Mean” people may be hurt people. When humans are in pain, they get grumpy and mean. There is an ever-present temptation to judge and assume that we know more about what other people are going through than we actually do. We don’t. If we could error on the side of empathy, we might see that the human race shares more commonality than difference. Each human shares the same fundamentals regardless of race, religion, politics, sexual orientation, difference of opinion or temporary nastiness resulting from pain: We have all been created by something so complex no one can agree on or prove what it is, we each have our own purpose and we are all intended to be here by our Universal Creator. Lets not get swept up in the drama of negativity when there is another option; connect with the universal spirit of humanity that resides in all of us.
Everything gets better when I take the focus off myself. Completely frustrated with the ups and downs of the healing process (physical, psychological and emotional), I found myself on the verge of tears with my head in my hands. I had just given myself permission to breakdown (again) and feel sorry for myself when my phone rang. My dear friend who received a cancer diagnosis had an amazing day and we talked about HER healing journey. Something truly magical happened in that moment. Our conversation instantly changed the way I felt once I stopped thinking of myself and rejoiced in her happiness, which became my happiness.
Lessons will repeat themselves until they are learned and the behavior is changed. No explanation required.
Reprogram your Default Mode. It’s so easy to simply react and let negativity take over when uncertainty strikes – and I have been repeating this lesson for the last 6 weeks (and 37 years). There is no negativity unless you assign it. Call it a blessing, call it a lesson, call it life. My new default mode? Awareness. All negative reactions have individual feelings assigned (anxiety, pain, anger, rejection, disappointment, stress, etc.) and I have control over what I feel. So I step back and view things from a distance. I observe what it looks like and how little it accomplishes when I unnecessary react, make a rash judgement and cause myself pain. When I become the observer of my own life, I perch myself at the highest point and look for the potential in every situation. (Disclaimer: Reprogrammed Default Modes frequently malfunction and require routine monitoring.)
Sometimes when you are looking for your purpose it may have nothing to do with you and everything to do with someone else. I said I would do ANYTHING to be of service in this world. What if suffering is part of my service? I began wondering, “Could this all be for someone else? Is it possible my inexplicable feelings of anxiety and inadequecy were given to me so that someone else could be of assistance to me? Perhaps someone needs to hear that I am struggling and they are comforted because they struggle too. Perhaps someone needs to know how much I need them if I haven’t expressed it otherwise. Perhaps I am destined to reach out to someone who is meant to be there in hard times so that our relationship can deepen and grow stronger. Once I stopped thinking of myself (again) and shifted my focus to those around me, I became fascinated with thoughts of connectivity, how necessary we are for one another to create a network of humanity and how my plight may contribute to the greater good.
The content of the fight doesn’t matter. It’s how you resolve the conflict. It doesn’t matter who you are having conflict with. It doesn’t matter what you are fighting about. The fight doesn’t matter. It’s about how you treat one another when things get tough. Do you yell, call names, withold or accuse? None of those are part of a resolution, so why put yourself through it? I think we have been paired up with everyone we encounter in life and they all have the potential to help us grow. Not only that, we are all part of someone else’s process too. So how do you respond when the going gets tough? Seldom, if ever, has my first instinct been love. But why not? We eventually get there in the end, so why not train yourself to stay in a state of love even in conflict? If we (as individuals) resolved all of our problems with love, think of what that would do for the collective consciousness of our world.
I feel like part of my mission in life is to shed light on how connected we are as humans and show love as the string of potential to connect each and every one of us. I’d like to share something that recently “wrote itself” after one of my meditations. I hope you all have a beautiful day and see love in everyone and everything!
June 15th, 2016 ~ Today I felt an overwhelming clarity in love. Everything was stripped away – motive, stress, judgement, frustration within relationships. GET RID of it. And if it exists in the other person, love them through it. BE love. Stay above all negative emotion. Do not exist there. Elevate to the highest level of existence – LOVE. Observe all negativity through the lens of love. Love it. Don’t react to it. Pleasantly observe how it plays out. See negativity in all it’s forms; the way it mutates from one form to another: stress, judgement, anger, intolerance, hatred, selfishness, blame, self loathing, fear, regret. See it all from a loving distance. Feel empathy for those experiencing these states of emotion. This only has to do with the individual – no one else. People take on the stress and emotion of those around them unnecessarily. Do not react to these maladies. Respond in love.
